Friday, January 6, 2017

#28 Socialization (9 Sept 2009)

Subject: George: socialization!
Cc:
Bcc:

9/09/09


John:
You're right about socialization. I really struggle with relaxing at
night-- just going to sleep. My eyes often pop open at 3:00 AM--
especially if I have an appt. to see somebody, have to go to work, or
even have to attend a class in the morning. It's nuts-- I mean why
would I worry about such mild challenges as meeting with somebody who
likes me. I feel like the 3 year old boy learned all these fears and
they seem encased in layers of concrete and steel.
But maybe there's a way!
Thanks for sharing your insights! You're a super bright guy with a
talent for language!


Bronax:
Thanks for honesty. Where do you come by such fear of hand tools? Time to look for local seniors woodworking and tool usage learning courses. Check out the Y and senior centers. Its just knowledge to flatten out some psychological background something is going to get me fears. We all have them about somethings.

Your Dad is a psychologist, correct? Maybe you just learned his phobias which drove him into working with tests and talking and reading, rather than making things or repairing or designing things with his hands and tools. Worth exploring. I believe any time w experience some unalloyed strong emotion, its like finding pure metal flakes in our buffed up social selves, like finding gold flakes in the dirt clods on our properties. I open up and try to find the source of some of my hates, fears, pruderies, false believs, disgusts, etc. One thing I did learn from my years of therapy, that I have now my very own little therapist sitting in my forebrain looking at all the detrius that flows by my mental river out of the surface of my socialization.


>----- Original Message ----- 
From: "John " 
>To: "George Bronax"
>Sent: Friday, September 04, 2009 3:47 PM
>Subject: Hi George: in the techno-spirit .... Book Bash
> 

John:
In the spirit of new technologies I just sent you my latest blog entry-- about my Toastmaster speech last night.

Bronax:
See... you have decided to make speechifying and talking
>in public one of your activities, not rewiring a circuit board.
>> 

John
You are very intuitive about the new world of communication. I agree with you-- and I am not automatically inclined to embrace technology. In fact, I have a technophobic personality, a suspicion of all things mechanical. Of course, the internet often involves no moving parts, other than hitting a typewriter keyboard, so it's less threatening. Still I bring bad habits over from not doing well with wrenches, hammers, or God forbid... a power saw!
>        
Bronax:
Who else in your family had this fear of hand tools. Do
>you have any members with cut off fingers or hands?
>> 
John:
I'm four days into retirement-- and making some slow progress! I'm
quite busy with the classes but it does seem to be getting me into the writing frame of mind.
I'm expecting Mona any minute now.
How are things in your neck of the woods. The terrible fires must get your attention. You're on the ocean side and I think the fires are north of LA, correct? Has a very apocalyptic feel to it. We do seem to be living in the future.
>        
Bronax:
Actually, we are always living in the present, even when we are studying the past. Your statement seems to connote some disbelief in the reality of the present, a sense of unrealness.I feel the same after the change in my status from school teacher and lawyer to mensa shut in old fart. Working on establishing my daily schedule so I get the reward of planning some things and feeling happy that I got some of them done. I have learned crying, like a female adolescent, probably the result of my hormone's settling about, so that I cry and say I miss that when there is a particularly nuzzly male female tenderness close relating. But, I don't miss it enought to go out and start dating again. Cat is good enough for me just now.
> 
John:
>>I seem to like the desktop computer, I know that dates me. I have a
>>cell phone but rarely use it. I own an IPOD actually-- my mother
>>found one and gave it to me! It has 5000 songs on it-- somebody
>>else's music! I've been learning about Radio lately-- and that's an
>>interesting, though brief history. One of the radio Godfathers, David
>>Sarnoff, was eager to get TV going and so radio had a brief heyday of
>>being the big boy on the block from 1925-1950!
>        
Bronax:
Advance of technology just allows more and people to do more and more things involving themselves, faster and faster. We still do all the same old stuff: eat and shit, fuck and suck, sit and run, and look for novelty, and talk to one another. Its what we do as a species based on our bio dimension as a smart primate.
>> 
John:
>>Hope your Friday is going well!

Bronax:
>      Very hot. I watched a lot of good Speed channel,
>extreme rides, AMerican LeMans sport cars racing, special
>cars that have jet engines mounted on Semi Trucks and pick up
>trucks, and one Swiss firm has made the actual James Bond
>aquacar one can drive off the road into the water, pull out
>masks from the dash, and carry on under water with two
>propellers. Cool. Pick up guy really puts on a show at night
>drag meets: he has rimed end of jets with pipes with holes
>into which he can pump diesel fuel, to create huge roaring
>blasts of fire out back of his engines. He goes from zero
>to 300 or so mph in quarter mile. Smok'n. Most posh ride
>is new Bugati. Two million for 12441 hoursepower. Two v8s
>put onto one crank case, and then fed by two turbochargers.
>In cockpit all butter soft sewn leather, etc. Super Cars.
>Take advantage of your experiences of you insides. Maybe
>you were frightened by sound of some neighbor building something in
>his house or garage, or workers putting up
>house or other building near you house as a child, or maybe
>your Dad or Mom took you to a building site when you were
>little and this frightened you, or maybe its a metaphore for
>some family fear you picked up. Worth exploring.
>    
Don't forget to look as a stranger on your academic adventure,
>what it will get you, how is is beginning, middle, and ending
>going to look, etc. Changing your daily rut, has made your
>insides temporarily open for business.

 I had dinner with old law buddy. He and wife are renting
>a house near Target near me, after he sold first his LA house
>then moved to Minnesota where he was raised to buy another
>house, then he sold that one and has returned. His French wife and
>her middle son just came back from super trip to Tibet
>with excellent photos we saw over dinner. He still plays bridge and
>tennis, and she works out at a senior center. Their bodies show it.
>They look good, just a little more worn than they looked like when I
>saw them last, several years ago. Meanwhile I am '
>turning into a frog. I think I have slowed his down a little.
>    What is your degee goal? Can you get a job with this stuff?
>> 

>> 
Bronax:
>>>    Good luck with the books. I recommend some light showing
>>>experience with real life during all this Grad Grind, by
>>>finding a part time or intern job in an allied field, to give
>>>you experience about the actual living of the life you are now
>>>studying to prepare for. What is your degree target? What type
>>>of work can you get with it? Remember, print newspapers and
>>>magazines are passing into electronic existence now. With
>>>development of hand held communicaion devices, IPODs and
>>>phones which have still and video camera capacity, internet
>>>wireless circuits, etc. amateur news reporting, instantly, is
>>>now the new standard from all over the world. We are now
>>>a true global world of noisy people reporting on the net
>>>about ourselves. Days of the stay at home solitary writer
>>>are ending. Most were correspondents for various print
>>>vehicles, newspapers, magazines, news services, movie
>>>and television studios, etc.
>>>      Whole new modern world out there there, and you are set
>>>to reveal it to everyone. Congrats.
>>>      How is your wife the programmer taking all this? And your
>>>daughter, the new Mom?
>>>      George Bronax
>> 
>> 

>>--

No comments:

Post a Comment