Subject: George:
socialization!
Cc:
Bcc:
9/09/09
John:
You're right about
socialization. I really struggle with relaxing at
night-- just going to
sleep. My eyes often pop open at 3:00 AM--
especially if I have an
appt. to see somebody, have to go to work, or
even have to attend a
class in the morning. It's nuts-- I mean why
would I worry about such
mild challenges as meeting with somebody who
likes me. I feel like the
3 year old boy learned all these fears and
they seem encased in
layers of concrete and steel.
But maybe there's a way!
Thanks for sharing your
insights! You're a super bright guy with a
talent for language!
Bronax:
Thanks for honesty.
Where do you come by such fear of hand tools? Time to look
for local seniors woodworking and tool usage learning
courses. Check out the Y and senior centers. Its just knowledge to
flatten out some psychological background something is going to
get me fears. We all have them about somethings.
Your Dad is a
psychologist, correct? Maybe you just learned his phobias which
drove him into working with tests and talking and reading, rather than
making things or repairing or designing things with his hands and
tools. Worth exploring. I believe any time w experience some
unalloyed strong emotion, its like finding pure metal
flakes in our buffed up social selves, like finding gold flakes in
the dirt clods on our properties. I open up and try to find the
source of some of my hates, fears, pruderies, false believs,
disgusts, etc. One thing I did learn from my years of therapy, that I have
now my very own little therapist sitting in my forebrain looking
at all the detrius that flows by my mental river out of
the surface of my socialization.
>----- Original Message
-----
From: "John "
>To: "George Bronax"
>Sent: Friday,
September 04, 2009 3:47 PM
>Subject: Hi George: in
the techno-spirit .... Book Bash
>
John:
In the spirit of
new technologies I just sent you my latest blog entry-- about my
Toastmaster speech last night.
Bronax:
See... you have decided to make speechifying and talking
>in public one of your
activities, not rewiring a circuit board.
>>
You are very
intuitive about the new world of communication. I agree with you-- and I
am not automatically inclined to embrace technology. In fact, I have a
technophobic personality, a suspicion of all things mechanical. Of
course, the internet often involves no moving parts, other than hitting
a typewriter keyboard, so it's less threatening. Still I bring bad
habits over from not doing well with wrenches, hammers, or God
forbid... a power saw!
>
Bronax:
Who else in your family had this fear of hand tools. Do
>you have any members
with cut off fingers or hands?
>>
John:
I'm four days into
retirement-- and making some slow progress! I'm
quite busy with
the classes but it does seem to be getting me into the writing frame
of mind.
I'm expecting Mona
any minute now.
How are things in
your neck of the woods. The terrible fires must get your attention.
You're on the ocean side and I think the fires are north of LA,
correct? Has a very apocalyptic feel to it. We do seem to be living in the
future.
>
Bronax:
Actually, we are always living in the present, even when we are studying the
past. Your statement seems to connote some disbelief in the
reality of the present, a sense of unrealness.I feel the same after
the change in my status from school teacher and lawyer to
mensa shut in old fart. Working on establishing my daily
schedule so I get the reward of planning some things and feeling
happy that I got some of them done. I have learned crying,
like a female adolescent, probably the result of my hormone's
settling about, so that I cry and say I miss that when there
is a particularly nuzzly male female tenderness close
relating. But, I don't miss it enought to go out and start dating
again. Cat is good enough for me just now.
>
John:
>>I seem to like the
desktop computer, I know that dates me. I have a
>>cell phone but
rarely use it. I own an IPOD actually-- my mother
>>found one and gave
it to me! It has 5000 songs on it-- somebody
>>else's music! I've
been learning about Radio lately-- and that's an
>>interesting,
though brief history. One of the radio Godfathers, David
>>Sarnoff, was eager
to get TV going and so radio had a brief heyday of
>>being the big boy
on the block from 1925-1950!
>
Bronax:
Advance of technology just allows more and people to do more and more things
involving themselves, faster and faster. We still do all the
same old stuff: eat and shit, fuck and suck, sit and run, and look
for novelty, and talk to one another. Its what we do as a
species based on our bio dimension as a smart primate.
>>
>>Hope your Friday
is going well!
Bronax:
>
Very hot. I watched a lot of good Speed channel,
>extreme rides,
AMerican LeMans sport cars racing, special
>cars that have jet
engines mounted on Semi Trucks and pick up
>trucks, and one Swiss
firm has made the actual James Bond
>aquacar one can drive
off the road into the water, pull out
>masks from the dash,
and carry on under water with two
>propellers. Cool. Pick
up guy really puts on a show at night
>drag meets: he has
rimed end of jets with pipes with holes
>into which he can pump
diesel fuel, to create huge roaring
>blasts of fire out
back of his engines. He goes from zero
>to 300 or so mph in
quarter mile. Smok'n. Most posh ride
>is new Bugati. Two
million for 12441 hoursepower. Two v8s
>put onto one crank
case, and then fed by two turbochargers.
>In cockpit all butter
soft sewn leather, etc. Super Cars.
>Take advantage of your
experiences of you insides. Maybe
>you were frightened by
sound of some neighbor building something in
>his house or garage,
or workers putting up
>house or other
building near you house as a child, or maybe
>your Dad or Mom took
you to a building site when you were
>little and this
frightened you, or maybe its a metaphore for
>some family fear you
picked up. Worth exploring.
>
Don't
forget to look as a stranger on your academic adventure,
>what it will get you,
how is is beginning, middle, and ending
>going to look, etc.
Changing your daily rut, has made your
>insides temporarily
open for business.
I had
dinner with old law buddy. He and wife are renting
>a house near Target
near me, after he sold first his LA house
>then moved to
Minnesota where he was raised to buy another
>house, then he sold
that one and has returned. His French wife and
>her middle son just
came back from super trip to Tibet
>with excellent photos
we saw over dinner. He still plays bridge and
>tennis, and she works
out at a senior center. Their bodies show it.
>They look good, just a
little more worn than they looked like when I
>saw them last, several
years ago. Meanwhile I am '
>turning into a frog. I
think I have slowed his down a little.
> What is
your degee goal? Can you get a job with this stuff?
>>
>>
Bronax:
>>>
Good luck with the books. I recommend some light showing
>>>experience
with real life during all this Grad Grind, by
>>>finding a part
time or intern job in an allied field, to give
>>>you experience
about the actual living of the life you are now
>>>studying to
prepare for. What is your degree target? What type
>>>of work can
you get with it? Remember, print newspapers and
>>>magazines are
passing into electronic existence now. With
>>>development of
hand held communicaion devices, IPODs and
>>>phones which
have still and video camera capacity, internet
>>>wireless
circuits, etc. amateur news reporting, instantly, is
>>>now the new
standard from all over the world. We are now
>>>a true global
world of noisy people reporting on the net
>>>about
ourselves. Days of the stay at home solitary writer
>>>are ending.
Most were correspondents for various print
>>>vehicles,
newspapers, magazines, news services, movie
>>>and television
studios, etc.
>>>
Whole new modern world out there there, and you are set
>>>to reveal it
to everyone. Congrats.
>>>
How is your wife the programmer taking all this? And your
>>>daughter, the
new Mom?
>>>
George Bronax
>>
>>
>>--
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